May. 27th, 2012

meccahi: (Default)
I've started to move towards functionality.  I'm not going to say that I'm not still grieving.. but I'm at least able to do normal daily routines without bursting into tears or being an emotional wreck.

No word on services yet. I have no idea if I can even afford to fly out.. both the time, and the money..with last weekend coming up, and then Bonnaroo right afterwards. 

I still miss him of course. I want to think this is normal. That even though we were crap in the communications department..I knew that I could at least get a hold of him if I really needed to. 

We were going to spend GenCon together. That's going to be a rough one to get through. 

It's one of those things. I didn't think I was emotionally vested in him...and as a relationship..I wasn't. I knew that. I knew he had the Crazy. But you don't spend lots of naked time with someone and not develop feelings of some sort. It may not be love.. but an attachment is there. 

It's going to be a while before I enter any kind of arrangement again I think though. 

March 2014

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