Moments

Oct. 1st, 2012 01:20 am
meccahi: (Default)
[personal profile] meccahi
I'm not going to lie... tonight is not one of my better moments.

I keep on thinking that these waves will pass. That the clawing ache will go away finally, never to be seen round here again in these here parts.

But still it returns. 

I wasn't in love. So why this? 

Why the longing, and the missing, and the tears. 

I try so hard to pull my parts together. To keep this semblance of a human girl intact. But during the night, the cracks keep showing.. keep veining around me. 

I feel like a broken record. There's nothing original to say about the whole ordeal. I cared about a boy. He drove me crazy. He was crazy. He killed someone else. He killed himself. The End. 

Now I get to pick up the flecks and pieces of the parts of me that keep flaking off. Stick them back together. Make everything stick.  Make it look good. Make it look seamless. 

Try to move. Try to breeze it off, but everything is stiff. Parts are still tender. Contents may still be under pressure.  

I can go days without wincing. Without caring. But then this happens, and it's all too real. 


Date: 2012-10-01 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captain-snarky.livejournal.com
Who knows why our brains keep waling in circles. It's important you acknowledge that it's doing it, and keep telling yourself to knock it off. Gently. No need to beat yourself up over it. But be firm.
Eventually your brain will listen.
In the meantime I recommend a good single malt in moderate quantities.

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