Midnight at the Confessional
Jan. 23rd, 2005 06:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meccahiBoneyards can hardly feel more bare than I at the moment.
Bleached. Pale. Brittle. Cracked. Completely cracked, love.
"Sundown you'd better take care.. if I find you've been creeping round my back stairs"
I wonder what life would be like if I were more dramatic. Not that I don't seem to have a monopoly on that little corner of emotion. And I thought that table was reserved for the beautiful girls. Which I know, I am not. I don't belong at that table. They are the ones with that perogative. That deed. The ability to curve men around their tiny grasping fingers. The ugly girls live in the darkness and are dramatic to mirrors and candles. Agonizing in shadowed rooms solo and wet.
"Someimes I think it's a sin, when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again"
Louder darling. Louder.
Sleep is harder to hunt when your eyes are wide and your mind is retching in a corner from too much frantic racing.
Breathe.
I miss you.
Faster in my faded jeans.. we race down the same roadway everyday and take the barest notice of red streaks on the asphalt. Everday we we race down the same roadway and barely take notice that it's the same roadway, same streaks, same song, same moment. Everyday. Everday.
Acknowledge please...everything is not code 4.
I fight this body. I fight this desire. I fight and I fight. Simple excuse isn't it?
Nothing is that simple anymore.
How am I suppose to react to what he says?
Love... and disgust in one night. From seperate entities. Paralellia. Cornucopia. A simple excuse.
Same roadway. New red streaks. Keep going. Keep going.
And if this sunrise that blinds me.. keeps me his prisoner for much longer, I may burst into a thousand bits of memory. And remain scattered across the sky to look down on it all.
And I'll wash new again.
A clean scene on the roadway drives us to the Silver City ahead.
Bleached. Pale. Brittle. Cracked. Completely cracked, love.
"Sundown you'd better take care.. if I find you've been creeping round my back stairs"
I wonder what life would be like if I were more dramatic. Not that I don't seem to have a monopoly on that little corner of emotion. And I thought that table was reserved for the beautiful girls. Which I know, I am not. I don't belong at that table. They are the ones with that perogative. That deed. The ability to curve men around their tiny grasping fingers. The ugly girls live in the darkness and are dramatic to mirrors and candles. Agonizing in shadowed rooms solo and wet.
"Someimes I think it's a sin, when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again"
Louder darling. Louder.
Sleep is harder to hunt when your eyes are wide and your mind is retching in a corner from too much frantic racing.
Breathe.
I miss you.
Faster in my faded jeans.. we race down the same roadway everyday and take the barest notice of red streaks on the asphalt. Everday we we race down the same roadway and barely take notice that it's the same roadway, same streaks, same song, same moment. Everyday. Everday.
Acknowledge please...everything is not code 4.
I fight this body. I fight this desire. I fight and I fight. Simple excuse isn't it?
Nothing is that simple anymore.
How am I suppose to react to what he says?
Love... and disgust in one night. From seperate entities. Paralellia. Cornucopia. A simple excuse.
Same roadway. New red streaks. Keep going. Keep going.
And if this sunrise that blinds me.. keeps me his prisoner for much longer, I may burst into a thousand bits of memory. And remain scattered across the sky to look down on it all.
And I'll wash new again.
A clean scene on the roadway drives us to the Silver City ahead.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-01-23 06:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-30 10:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-23 08:04 pm (UTC)I can understand being lonley. I can understand wanting/needing to feel desireable to someone. I too...am hunting sleep with my eyes wide open..and screw the pretty girls table..they are sitting by the dumpster.
You deserve so much more then to be a prisoner in someone elses sunrise.
You deserve better. You deserve Better!!!!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-30 10:19 am (UTC)How are you love? I'm sorry I've been such a slacker at communication. Things have been insane to the hilt here. But I think about you often!
Thank you sweetie..