meccahi | Coloquial

Everything falls between the lines of pessimism and desperation these days. Not elegant I'll grant you.. but it's as close as I can come to wrangling the tide of angst that's been waving in and out of late.

My disgruntledness with my employment has surged over the levee and fallen into outright disgust. I do not like what I do. Even if it gives the general populace the warm and fuzzy picture that what we do is good. And Right. Yay. I tell people that their alarm systems are sounding or that we've sent police out. I generally deal with not the thankful but the terrified or the outright pissed. Thankless job? Not always.. but I'm being worn down and feeling old because of it. I do not like what I do. I don't like talking to people 40 plus hours a week. I'm just generally sick of angry, frustrated people who I can't relate to in the slightest. I like working on my projects and bits of creation. That is what makes me happy.

Someone broke into my truck last night as Grog and I went to dinner and watched fireworks. We had taken my Dad's truck and left mine at our house. Meh. They stole one of his Magic decks and his Warmachine cards. And completely Hulk Smashed teh window. Lovely. It's only going to cost me $150 to repair.. but it's the fact that people would do this at all that blows the goat. And they left the money that was inside. Damn kids.

I've pretty much officially given up on the trellis/flimsy structure I was attempting. It is not meant to be. Next step is finding a shade covering for that large of an area and then going from there.

Still no callback from the Louisiana show..

Bristol starts soon.. I'm only going to make it to the last weekend probably.. MAYBE the last two if I really want to see how far I can push it with my job.

I've been working out an hour every day now. I hurt.. I burn.. but I can at the very least say I'm doing something.

My new "obsession" as Grog calls it.. is looking at Ghost Towns. We've got a million and one of them in Arizona.. and while I'm here I may as well see some of the more interesting things.. because quite honestly there really isn't much else to do.

That is my report for the day.. I'm going to now see about removing every speck of dirt from the house and then maybe work on music.. or something.. just to rid myself of this feeling of wasting.