Stop

[meccahi]

I have no idea why I'm depressed. But there it is. Massively depressed. I keep fighting it, but all it does is make me depressed and cranky.

I'm tired of working all of the time. I'm tired of feeling like i've achieved NOTHING here. I'm tired of people. I'm just tired. I kind of want someone to talk to. I kind of want to be cuddled.

In the end I have been cleaning, doing laundry.. listening to ghost stories, Vivaldi, and working on restoring some of my uncleaned roman coins.

I just feel out of sorts, out of shape, and a fierce desire to throw a tantrum over nothing. Which is odd because I'm REALLY not a tantrum thrower.

Blargh.

Comments

[stupidfish.livejournal.com]

why don't you throw tantrums? I'm not even sure it's fair to call it a "tantrum." You're feeling things and want to get them out. So get them out. Do you feel less in control and "macho" if you express those feelings?

By the by, I hope you have a fun birthday. Wish I could join, but AZ is a little far. But I'll be thinking good thoughts atcha.

[meccahi.livejournal.com]

I just can't throw tantrums.. my sensibilities just consider it "rude". The problem is, that I've found.. is that sometimes I can get to be TOO low maintenance, and then I'll start getting martyrish. I'm working on it.
I'm more stressed about my birthday party than excited at this point. They moved a fucking full moon drum jam for it. That's major.
I wish you and Christian could be here too... but I WILL see you guys in Bristol.. and I can't wait. Miss you guys!