Stop

Mar. 24th, 2005 03:29 am
meccahi: (Default)
[personal profile] meccahi
I have no idea why I'm depressed. But there it is. Massively depressed. I keep fighting it, but all it does is make me depressed and cranky.

I'm tired of working all of the time. I'm tired of feeling like i've achieved NOTHING here. I'm tired of people. I'm just tired. I kind of want someone to talk to. I kind of want to be cuddled.

In the end I have been cleaning, doing laundry.. listening to ghost stories, Vivaldi, and working on restoring some of my uncleaned roman coins.

I just feel out of sorts, out of shape, and a fierce desire to throw a tantrum over nothing. Which is odd because I'm REALLY not a tantrum thrower.

Blargh.

Date: 2005-03-24 01:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rochesterkaet.livejournal.com
I completely understand. I was just at that point in my life.

I say throw yourself into something that will either entertain you or distract you. I had my ways of dealing with it, resolving the issues that depressed me and what not.

And if at all possible, throw the tantrum...don't be afraid to expell that energy.

Date: 2005-03-24 01:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azpuck98.livejournal.com
Totally,

Whatever you do, don't even begin to hold it inside. Suppressing this is the last thing you need because it'll fester and it'll get worse and worse until you start putting yourself in situations you would never put yourself in.

Even just writing about it here is a start, and if you need people to talk to I'm sure that we can step in and be that ear you need and even that shoulder too.

Date: 2005-03-24 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stupidfish.livejournal.com
why don't you throw tantrums? I'm not even sure it's fair to call it a "tantrum." You're feeling things and want to get them out. So get them out. Do you feel less in control and "macho" if you express those feelings?

By the by, I hope you have a fun birthday. Wish I could join, but AZ is a little far. But I'll be thinking good thoughts atcha.

Date: 2005-03-25 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grog-d-unkindly.livejournal.com
chase the impossible.

Think of something you've always wanted to do or know how to do and figure out how you could do it. Nothing feels more fulfilling then doing something that you thought was just out of reach.

or break stuff, that releases some of it as well.

Date: 2005-03-25 06:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] horosha.livejournal.com
Eh, throw a tantrum. Who cares? It's your life. If you ever just want to rant to someone I'm always here to listen. It'll get better.

Then again, what do I know. I'm in the same state. Fuck it. Let's go get drunk together.

Date: 2005-03-25 09:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meccahi.livejournal.com
I actually broke off stuff from my walls and it felt absolutely splendid.. mmmm breaking stuff.

Date: 2005-03-25 09:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meccahi.livejournal.com
Sounds fabulous. At this point I'm all abut a rant session, alcohol and a cheesy ass movie.

Date: 2005-03-25 09:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meccahi.livejournal.com
I just.... have SUCH a hard time throwing tantrums.. bottles yes.. tantrums not so much. I'm usually pretty low key. Dammit.

Date: 2005-03-25 09:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meccahi.livejournal.com
I have a problem with just letting things go.... letting them slide away. I don't usually hold things in... I just let them melt. Because in the end... what does it matter? But I am feeling better, and I love all of you for your caring.

Date: 2005-03-25 09:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meccahi.livejournal.com
I just can't throw tantrums.. my sensibilities just consider it "rude". The problem is, that I've found.. is that sometimes I can get to be TOO low maintenance, and then I'll start getting martyrish. I'm working on it.
I'm more stressed about my birthday party than excited at this point. They moved a fucking full moon drum jam for it. That's major.
I wish you and Christian could be here too... but I WILL see you guys in Bristol.. and I can't wait. Miss you guys!

Date: 2005-03-25 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rochesterkaet.livejournal.com
That reminds me of an episode of CSI, when Warrick throws a phone book into the hallway. Sara, who was almost hit by the phonebook, walks in and asks him why he did it. His response: "Because a beeker shatters all over the place."

I thought that was an interesting little scene.

You need to get out the energy somehow, go run or take your frustrations to a punching bag...or, you could just throw a phone book.

Date: 2005-03-26 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhythmsister.livejournal.com
Ya know..even my therapist said...sometimes you just have to throw a tantrum.
Put on some big stompy boots..some appropriate stompy type music..turn it up really loud...stomp around your house and scream...I am sure you will feel better in 10 or 15 minutes....

Bristol...ahhh still too far away..but it does get closer with each passing day....miss you and I wish I could make it to your party.

I will be sure to have a drink for ya though.
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