Pro-duc-tive

[meccahi]

Spent the morning writing up resumes and submitting applications to an ass-load of different jobs and online job hunting sites. Wheeeee!

I've figured out ( finally! cause I am a slow monkey).. that my regular "job" is preventing me from moving forward with World In Chains. All the events that I need to vend at are on the weekends.. which is currently impossible as I work weekends. And I, more and more, have come to just hate my job. It's nothing specific... it's just several small things that have been adding up.

I don't like offices.. I never have.. I feel like a faker.. an impostor whenever I am there. It's not where I belong.. and more and more.. it's killing me. It is honest to Gods killing me. I feel like the life is draining out of me and I just don't know who or what I am anymore.. and the muse slips further and further away the longer that I am there. I just can't handle it anymore.. I need out and it needs to be soon. I miss my happiness and I will fight like the stubborn bitch I am to have it back. I know I'm going to have to sacrifice alot to get back to where I need to be.. and I'm ok with that.

I don't want to travel constantly as I did before.. but I want to have maybe 2 or 3 large faires on my list.. and then maybe smaller weekend shows.. craft shows and Cons.

I want my place away from the city.

I want out of Arizona. This place is just more and more a wasteland. Of culture.. of humanity. It's a struggle to find the gems of people who I can connect with. I'm lucky to have found the few that I have.. and I count them as blessings.

Alot of this was brought home after seeing Cirque Du Soleil and seeing Fluffy.. ( who looks AMAZING .. heh.. yay.. I am so,so happy for her..).. and the show was amazing as well.

But I realized how much I MISS being a part of something.. being an element in a creation.. whether it be a show or a piece of art.. or whatever. If i'm not creating SOMETHING I'm miserable.. utterly miserable. Music,art,photography,chainmail.. it doesn't matter.. I just have to be creating something. Where I'm at right now.. I'm creating nothing but apathy.
Emo ranting done..

In other news I'm scheduled to go in and try on contacts for the first time in my life.. and I have to admit I'm really nervous. I'm one of those people who get freaked out if things are near my eyes.. but I really don't want to have to keep wearing glasses all the time. I figure there are millions of people who wear contacts.. it can't be that hard.. but I'm still nervous.

Off for a little bit of WoW before the eyeball torture..

Comments

[theetinygoat.livejournal.com]

run away from the office before it steals your soul!!!!

[theetinygoat.livejournal.com]

oh, and you get over the eye poking discomfort pretty quickly. :)

[dreaming-elise.livejournal.com]

I can say this. I know what this is like.
Right now I am trying to support 3 people on my business income. It will work, but it takes sacrifice and loss of luxuries to afford the freedom.
I sold chain mail at art shows, and it didn't work out well. I would recommend renfests, cons, and themed events over art/craft shows.
Also, I used to feed myself and make rent selling chain mail to strippers at clubs (never had a problem getting in to see the girls, almost all of them allow costumers to visit.)
I also sold at upscale dungeons and even made a great sale at a transsexual brothel in Chelsea.
These girls have expendable cash and are prone to impulse purchases. Yes, it was sleazy (not the dungeons, they were great) but if you don't go alone (with another girl is best- cause then you can both go into the dressing room) it's pretty good money. I sometimes only walked out with $50 for a 2 hour excursion, but more often than not, between bellchains, anklets, handflowers and the occasional belts, halters, and headdresses, we would usually be able to walk out with a couple of hundred bucks.
At the dungeons and the brothel, the girls weren't even buying the stuff for work, but to go out clubbing.